Bring it ALL and make it your BEST

There are so many books that tell us how to act and what to do to be successful at being leaders: The Servant shows us the wisdom of the principle behind leadership which is the interplay of responsibility, respect and care. Influencer teaches us that we can change virtually anything by bundling the right influence techniques with the right influence strategy. Gail Evans, in Play Like a Man, Win like a Women, says women need to understand and apply the rules of the men’s business game in order to get ahead. The Definitive Drucker teaches us how to strategize, compete and triumph over the long term. Made to Stick gives us many examples of how integrating six key qualities in an idea will make it stick. A Whole New Mind helps us see the “six essential aptitudes” as our way to manage the changes we are experiencing in the movement from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age. This short list only scratches the surface.

All of these books are wonderful resources for us and offer great advice that can and do help us to be better leaders of ourselves and our organizations. Before we start using any of this advice in our lives as leaders, however, we need to be very clear about who we are and what talents and strengths we possess. If we bring less than who we are to our work, then using all of the advice above will still bring us up short of utilizing our full potential effectively.

When I ask leaders to describe themselves and tell me who they are, many say they know exactly who they are and what makes them tick. They then describe themselves in terms of titles, successes, achievements, community service involvement, whether they are married or single, their number of kids, and their religion. These are not who you are but things you do or have done. They’re nice, neat labels. When was the last time you peeled back the labels and really thought about what you believe, what your values are, what your life priorities are, what your talents are and how you best use them? Have you ever spent time thinking about these things? Even if you have thought about them, have you ever written them down?

Dawn Rider-Carter, the Director of Sales for a recruiting company, said, “I have spent the last six months working on understanding where I can reduce the conflict and stress in my life. The light bulb moment for me was finding that both of these things escalated when I was not living with integrity with and for myself. Integrity used to be something that I didn’t think about often – it was more about winning or getting the job done at all costs. Now I know that this is a short term fix to the issue at hand but a long term energy drain for me.”

If you do not spend time peeling back your own labels and defining your values and talents and how to best use them, then you can not truly be a “transparent’ leader, and those around you will be less inclined to follow you with commitment. I encourage you to spend the time to reflect and articulate those things that make up the “whole you” then bring it ALL to your leadership roles so you can truly do your BEST.

Using the Right Communications Style

Think about your communication style. Is it pink, blue or striped? In her book Pitch Like a Girl, Ronna Lichtenburg tells us that we all communicate in one of these styles, and although the book’s target audience is women, the concepts are not gender specific but style specific. There are men who speak pink, and women who speak blue.

What, then, is the message we need to take away? You need to be aware of your personal style as well as the style of others and adjust your communications accordingly. So, if you are a man whose style is pink, and your first instinct is to have a personal conversation to break the ice and catch up on the local sports news, but you are talking to your boss who is a very definite blue (get to the point and do it quickly), then adjusting means eliminating or at least limiting the small talk and focusing on the issue that needs to be discussed.

I worked with a woman whose sales skills were second to none. She could eliminate almost any objection and did not hesitate to tell her sales employees how and when to do this for their clients. You’ve probably already guessed that her communication style was blue. However, something strange happened on the way to her boss’s office. When she went to talk to him about the roadblocks she was experiencing inside the company, she sugarcoated the issues, she became emotional and wasn’t very concise in explaining what she needed from him. You can guess how he viewed her leadership skills: he didn’t feel she had any. After reviewing what and how she was communicating with her employees and her boss, we discussed switching her use of the pink and blue communications styles: use more pink with her employees and use more blue with her employer. In three short months her employees were growing in areas she hadn’t expected and her boss said he thought she was on top of her department and was pleased with the trend of creating more results faster. According to my client, her results were the same – still above expectations – but now he was able to see the results without wading through the emotional clutter.

When do you use pink communications style? When do you use blue communications style? What results are you getting from these communications? Could you change or tweak your style to drive results faster?

Improve Your People Development Skills

One of the top reasons executives look to a leadership advisor like me is for help in improving their people development skills. Like you, these executives have a strong desire to create a work environment that sets their employees up for success. They know that a healthy, productive environment leads to employees who are more focused on the success of the business.

But people development skills don't come easy -- even for the most astute leader.

My clients, regardless of team size, type or personnel issue, have one thing in common: They need help identifying how each employee (regardless of title or position) defines success, and they need a strategy for creating a professional development plan that gets results.

Step 1: Identify Success on their Terms
Many times my clients think that all their employees define success as money and promotion. Clearly, money and promotion are valued by employees, but why these things are valued above others is equally important. Here are some questions to ask that will help you understand individual employee needs and, more importantly, individual employee motivations.

• Is the employee looking for wealth, a certain quality of life or something else?
• Does the employee have family financial obligations that shape the way they view success?
• Does the employee desire to be promoted because their peers are being promoted, because they think it's "time," or because they feel they'll be challenged more in the new position?
• Is it the title or something else that gives the employee satisfaction and provides fulfillment?
• Ask probing questions like these until you uncover your employee's personal definition of success.

Step 2: Get Buy-In from the Employee
Once you know what motivates your employee, engage them in incorporating goals and tactics into their performance plan. That way the employee can clearly see when s/he has accomplished or deviated from the plan.

A jointly developed plan accomplishes two things. First, it leads my clients to better manage their employee's expectations. And second, it leads their employees to better manage themselves toward achieving the goals they now "own."

Success Breeds Success
Is this two-step process too simple to be truly valuable? Absolutely not! The reality of human nature is that personal contribution and ownership in a plan or an idea yields an exponentially higher opportunity for success. Ultimately, when employees are actively engaged in the creation of a personal development plan, they are much more likely to ensure that the company's interests and goals are met along with their own.

Additional Resources: Destination Success by Dwight Bain and Building a High Morale Workplace by Anne Bruce

Let your 2008 priorities drive your best year yet!

It’s the start of a new year, and by now many of us have probably taken the time to list out all the things we’d like to do and goals we’d like to accomplish for the year. I’ll admit that I am not a proponent of New Year’s resolutions; I am, however, passionate about spending quality time reflecting on what success in the new year looks like for me.

For example, in 2007 I wrote down 3 priorities:

1) Develop a stronger emotional health and well being at my core (I had a tough 2006).
2) Ensure I would give my family and core group of friends my time and attention to further our relationships.
3) Focus on taking Kinetic Insights to the next level.

These 3 priorities were my guides throughout the year. They helped me set boundaries for myself to stay focused, as well as say no to requests that didn’t align with my priorities. When I had a major decision to make (vacations, new business ideas, new board duties, etc), I checked my 2007 list to determine the impact on my priorities. I repeatedly asked myself questions such as: Could I spare the time to do the new things over and above what I needed to do to focus on those key things? Would the new responsibility distract me from my priorities?

On New Year’s Day 2008 I sat at the beach in California looking over the Pacific Ocean and reflecting on how I did last year. What a revelation: I met or exceeded my expectations for each of my 2007 priorities! I gained energy from the knowledge that living these priorities allowed me to accomplish so much, and I am invigorated and inspired to not only do it again in 2008, but to challenge my clients, my friends, and my family to do it for themselves.

If you are able to articulate your three 2008 priorities and what success looks like for you when you accomplish these, then this will guide your best year. Commit to them with pen on paper. Your priorities will dictate when you say yes or no to the many demands on you over the course of the year, guiding you on spending your time productively and not just working your task lists.

I wish for you throughout 2008, all the joy and energy this revelation has given to me this 2008 New Year’s Day!

Personal Marketing Strategies for Women in Business

Marketing is a basic skill that every woman in business should foster in order to remain on top of her game. But marketing does not apply only to business owners and solo professionals. Employees, too, need to market themselves daily within their organization and in the industry at-large. The goal of all marketing is to develop yourself into a valuable resource, thereby making your input, your service and your product a critical part of other people’s success. It makes you more desirable, and this is important whether you are looking for your next client, a promotion at work, a raise or opportunities in a different organization.

One marketing battle that women struggle with is this: Marketing makes them uncomfortable or at the worst, they think of it as dirty word! As a person who thrives on marketing, I have given this a lot of thought and have spoken with several colleagues for their thoughts and opinions on this topic. Below are some of the common themes that I uncovered along with strategies to reevaluate the role that marketing plays in your work. I believe that marketing is the best life skill to embrace, and I hope that these strategies will help you to move beyond these barriers and perhaps even turn marketing into one of your favorite activities!

Theme 1: “I don’t know how to network effectively.”

This is the most common theme I hear from women. This baffles me because by nature, women are relationship builders and at its very core, marketing is about building relationships. To build relationships, you need to build a strong network of trusted business professionals from a variety of industries so that you can make quality referrals to others. Women sometimes have a negative connotation about the word “networking” or simply don’t understand how to network while maintaining their integrity. This is a much broader topic than will fit into this article, but the gist of networking it this: Networking will not likely bring you immediate gains. You will, however, start to build a list of respected colleagues and business professionals with whom to form strategic alliances and partnerships or share clients and, yes, even build a list of prospects who may eventually hire you. By networking with others in this way, you are building your credibility, which may happen slowly, but is a key part of marketing effectively. Equally as important, you must become a resource for others in your network. Try approaching your next networking event with the intention of helping at least three people with their business needs instead of collecting twenty cards that you’ll probably never do anything with anyway.

Theme #2: “Marketing makes me feel phony and dirty.”

As women, we tend to share a need to be authentic. Relationships based on false information are not worthy of us. Take a moment and consider the people with whom you do business - your hairdresser, your favorite clothing boutique, your accountant. I am willing to bet that these people have sharp skills and have been able to provide you with a quality service; otherwise you would not be going back to them. Now, if they can provide you with a valuable service, charge you for it and even ask for referrals, why is it that you have a hard time doing the same? When you find yourself in a rut, ask yourself, “How can I talk honestly about this situation and bring my values into play in my business?” Once you answer this question, you can start to implement these ideas into your personal marketing plan.

Theme #3: “I don’t know how to get started.”

There is no one “right” way to market yourself. An easy way to start is to reach out to others and be genuinely interested in their businesses and their needs and make quality referrals when you can. This gets back to the idea of forming a relationship. Use your relationship building skills in the context of marketing because this is in fact what you are doing. Your goal is to build trust and respect of others so they will add you to their mental Rolodex of high-integrity service providers to refer business. Part of personal marketing is simply “showing up,” meaning that you attend events or meet someone for lunch or coffee. As an employee, this is also a valuable strategy because your lunch hour is one of the best times for form relationships with people in other departments that you normally don’t work with. The point is, you must get out of your office and talk with people. If you haven’t tried this approach yet, try it for a few months and you’ll be amazed at your long-term results.

Theme #4: “I don’t want to exclude anyone from my market by developing a niche.”

This one strikes a chord with me because it is such a common character flaw that many woman share: We try to be all things to all people. To be effective in business, it is important to know and enforce your boundaries by focusing on that which you excel, which ultimately will allow you to serve your clients to the best of your abilities. This may sound complicated, but it’s not. This is what I call “Developing Your Story.” Start by deciding who you are, what you offer and what you don’t offer, and whom you will serve. Second, answer this question: What is unique about you, your product, service and knowledge? Once you commit to these basic tenets, only then should you start developing and implementing your marketing program. You will find it infinitesimally easier to decide where to locate your target market and you’ll be able to spend your marketing budget with much greater results.

If you are one of the many women who feels negatively about marketing, I hope that this information will help you start to transform your ideas about personal marketing. The main point that I would like you remember is this: The key is to marketing with integrity is to focus on helping others first.

© 2007 Meredith Liepelt, Rich Life MarketingMeredith Liepelt, President of Rich Life Marketing, publishes ‘Smart Marketing,’ a free bi-weekly ezine featuring marketing tips, insider secrets and thought provoking articles designed to help the busy female entrepreneur build trust with clients and prospects and generate more income than ever before. Claim your free subscription today at www.richlifemarketing.com.

Help an Employee Stop Living in "Victimhood"

Help an Employee Stop Living in "Victimhood"

Have you ever had an employee who couldn’t get themselves out of victim mode? If not, you probably will at some point in your career. And if you haven't directly supervised a victim, you may recognize one in your office.

Think about the employee who constantly blames others, who always has an excuse for why things don't get finished, who needs more help than others, who says they are doing the best they can but still has more messes to clean up than the rest of the team.

Perhaps the employee isn't a bad employee; perhaps the employee simply lives in "victimhood." People who live in victimhood are often characterized by these behaviors:

• They never take responsibility for what happens.
• They believe they are always right.
• They are never accountable.
• They constantly look for and feel entitled to sympathy from others.
  

Until that kind of employee addresses their attitude of being a victim, they will not truly take control and become a success.

Moving Out of Victimhood
So where does that leave you, the employer? First, ask yourself if this person has the talent they need to do the job and if so, would they and the organization benefit from them focusing on that talent. If the answer is yes, then call on your best communication skills and address the victim attitude head on. For more information on communication skills see the Kinetic Insights blog article at http://kineticinsights.blogspot.com/2007/11/better-communications-starts-with-right.html.

Many times these employees are simply unaware that they live in victimhood. If you are really fortunate, they will recognize it during the first conversation you have. It's more likely, however, that they will not. Embrace your patient side and be prepared to address the issue over many meetings and perhaps many months.

The best approach to helping an employee cross their personal chasm and move out of victimhood to become a productive employee is to create an empathetic environment for open, direct conversation. Tell the employee you have their best interests in mind and then be direct in your observations. Become your employee's mirror by recounting specific examples of victim behavior.

Moving Toward Success
The employee's first step toward more productive behavior is acknowledging that their choices create their victim status. In conversations going forward, consistently ask and remind the employee to focus discussion on their personal efforts — what are they responsible for and how did they create success.

Guiding them toward seeing how they have control over their own success or failure is invaluable for change. The constant refocusing of the employee's attention to their own efforts has shown to be effective in redirecting victims toward normal acceptance of responsibility.

Additional Resources: Failing Forward by John C. Maxwell

Better Communications Starts with the Right Questions

Most of us would agree that just about everyone needs to expand or improve their communication skills. If you want to communicate better and more effectively with others, start by improving the communication you have with yourself.

Ask yourself these questions — and answer them honestly:

• What do I say to myself when things go right?


• What comments and questions come into my thoughts when things are not going well in a specific situation or in my life in general?


• Do I ask questions that result in my doing things more effectively the next time?


• Do I ask questions that cause others to become defensive or do I ask questions that allow us to have a good, productive discussion?

Now that you've answered these questions, are you sure of your answers? Really sure?

When my clients really pay attention to their personal and interpersonal skills over time, many of them find they revise their original answers. And you may, too.

The reality is that we are usually very hard on ourselves, so our thoughts focus on what we have done wrong, or what we wish we would have said or done, or what we have to do next. Seldom do we have a naturally developed ability to revel in our successes or to ask ourselves what we learned from a situation.

What would life be like if you reduced or discontinued your negative conversations with yourself? And how would that impact your conversations with others?

The QuestionThinking Model
Marilee Adams writes about using QuestionThinking in all our communications. The idea behind QuestionThinking is to ask questions and to learn not to judge.

So instead of saying, "What will they think of my idea?" ask yourself "What do I want them to do as a result of hearing my new idea?" or "How can I best help this person understand my new idea?"

If you're someone who says to yourself, "I can’t believe I said that!" ask yourself instead, "What happened when I said those things? How can I say them differently?"

I ask clients to create new phrases to begin their questions. For example, "Help me understand the options you evaluated …." or "Tell me how you arrived at your conclusion about ..." might be more powerful words for opening a discussion with an employee who is apt to defend their mistakes.

Using questions to help others see your point of view or to help them become more open to discussing sensitive issues will make you a more effective leader or manager.

Additional Resources: Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 7 Powerful Tools for Life and Work by Merilee G. Adams